WI Napoléon II: Bourbon Hostage?

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Polish Eagle

Kellan Sullivan said:
Also, Napoléon was one of those men who didn't have the patience for gardening. So him having taken up gardening would be an odd choice indeed.
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Maybe not early in life, but on Saint Helena (presumably because there was nothing else to do), he did take it up at Longwood. Spade-in-hand at everything, along with dozens-to-hundreds of Chinese laborers assigned to assist him.

Of course, knowing his drama-queen tendencies late in life, that might have been an intentional affectation to invoke the images of other great men who returned to agriculture. Or, as has been speculated, a way of remembering Josephine.
 
A Pair of Kings, Two Jacks and an Ace Up The Sleeve
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    • Kellan Sullivan

    Soundtrack: François Adrien Boieldieu - Angéla - Ma Fanchette est Charmante

    *Paris* *April 1814* *night* *a solitary cavalryman gallops in along the road from Rambouillet* *we see the soldier dismounting in the forecourt of the Hôtel de Talleyrand on the Rue de Saint-Florentin*
    *cut to dinner table where Talleyrand is entertaining Alexander I of Russia [among others]*
    *a servant comes in and passes a message to the chamberlain* *the chamberlain nods and walks over to the table, where he passes the message on to Talleyrand*
    Talleyrand: *listening to Alexander regaling the company with some story* *camera pans in on his face, we see the pupils of his eyes grow large*

    *cut to Talleyrand in a room* *in front of a fireplace* *the cavalryman is standing in front of him, reporting* *Joseph Fouché, duc d'Otrante, is in the chair opposite*
    Fouché: *outburst* you idiot, you have...what must we do with this news? do you have any idea how this will make us look?
    Talleyrand: it only makes us look complicit if we cover it up, my dear Joseph.
    Fouché, cavalryman: *look at him*
    Talleyrand: *to cavalryman* you may go.
    Fouché: you have finally lost your head, Charles.
    Talleyrand: hardly...I plan to keep mine attached. And keep the king on the throne-
    Fouché: this king?
    Talleyrand: don't be absurd. Louis XV's regency had the Cellamare Conspiracy, not to mention the Pontcallec Conspiracy afterwards, Louis XIV had the Fronde, and then fifty years of turmoil as Catherine de Medicis was regent for first one son then another. *shakes head* no...a regency will not do. Still less with an empress regent who is about as politically capable as Marie de Medicis.
    Fouché: she had Richelieu, Anne had Mazarin, Louis XV had Fleury...
    Talleyrand: and I am too old to walk in those shoes, Joseph. *sets glass of cognac aside* but this is the king's choice. The Bonapartes are...scattered. The empress and her daughter, the queen of Holland, are at Évreux, the king of Spain is in Orléans, the grand duchess of Tuscany is at Montpellier, and the king of Westphalia is with the boy's mother at Rambouillet. There will be a dreadful squabble amongst them- *tiredly* and haven't we seen what disaster such sibling squabbles have wrought over the last decade?
    Fouché: *says nothing*
    Talleyrand: it's only with difficulty that I've convinced the Russians to drop their support for either Bernadotte or the duc d'Orléans. The Austrians will want this boy on the throne, nobody in France will tolerate what they will see as an Austrian puppet. I'm afraid the die has been cast, Fouché, and there remains little to do but wait for the king to arrive.
    Fouché: *under breath to Talleyrand* assuming the king doesn't have him executed or murdered or- does the Man in the Iron Mask mean anything to you?
    Talleyrand: the king is many things. But he is the only Bourbon who is not a complete idiot [1].

    *title card reads 5 May 1814* *Louis XVIII is in his study at the Tuileries Palace, talking to Blacas*
    Footman: His Serene Highness, the Comte de Talleyrand, Prince de Benevente, His Serene Highness, the Duc d'Otrante-
    Louis XVIII: *quietly as he watches them enter* ah, Blacas...here we see Crime escorted on the arm of Vice.
    Blacas: *looks at the fair-haired child accompanying them* your Majesty, I was thinking more of the child playing in a nest of vipers [2]
    Louis XVIII: since both studied to be priests, I imagine they should be oddly familiar with the passage.
    Little boy: *charges forward* *looks up at the king* that's my father's chair.
    Louis XVIII: *looks at Talleyrand*
    Talleyrand: then you may bow and kiss your grandfather's hand, sire.
    Louis XVIII: *puts out a pudgy hand*
    Little boy: *looks conflicted* *finally does so*
    Louis XVIII: *motions to Blacas*
    Blacas: *lifts the little boy up and places him on Louis XVIII's leg [3]*
    Louis XVIII: we bid you welcome to our court, Monseigneur François. You may rest assured of our eternal and unchanging love. *kisses the boy on both cheeks*

    *fade to black*

    [1] You cannot imagine how stupid the Comte d'Artois is. All these Bourbons are idiots except Louis XVIII.- said by Talleyrand OTL. Although the usual quip about them attributed to him is "learned nothing, forgot nothing" (mistakenly, since that was actually by historian Jacques Godechot (1907-1989))
    [2] Isaiah 11:8
    [3] the Prince Regent likened fastening the Garter on Louis XVIII to "buckling it around the waist of a rather stout woman"
     
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    • Nuraghe

    Kellan Sullivan said:
    IDK if this will turn into another TL, was just in a mood yesterday. We'll see...
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    Nah, don't worry, no one will put pressure on you about this, I also want to add that this little scene you have elaborated is truly adorable, as well as your usual masterful one, now I'm imagining Francois ( "nephew of Louis XVIII" ) meeting in neutral territory ( and out of space-time ) our cynical but funny Frankie, I imagine they end up arguing about who has the better grandfather, with San Franz ultimately preferring to deal with Franzi rather than a petulant and unbearable version of himself 😂😅, from the series "I'm too old for this!" 🙄😜 so he goes and kidnaps a very young Henry and to take his place, so he can play the Pontius Pilate on duty 😇
     
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    Kellan Sullivan

    Nuraghe said:
    Nah, don't worry, no one will put pressure on you about this, I also want to add that this little scene you have elaborated is truly adorable, as well as your usual masterful one, now I'm imagining Francois ( "nephew of Louis XVIII" ) meeting in neutral territory ( and out of space-time ) our cynical but funny Frankie, I imagine they end up arguing about who has the better grandfather, with San Franz ultimately preferring to deal with Franzi rather than a petulant and unbearable version of himself 😂😅, from the series "I'm too old for this!" 🙄😜 so he goes and kidnaps a very young Henry and to take his place, so he can play the Pontius Pilate on duty 😇
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    well, given that Frankie's "grandpa" here would be (per @DrakeRlugia Angoulême rather than Louis XVIII), that could be interesting. Especially given the fact that Charles X was "more of a father than a grandfather" to Henri V/Louise d'Artois. And the pair were "positively feral", per Sir Thomas Lawrence who had to paint a portrait of the new king, with Charles resolutely refusing to send his grandchildren out of the room, despite the fact that they were (clearly) annoying him and driving Lawrence himself mad.

    Not to mention that the similarities would exist: a pair of adoptive parents who are old enough to be his grandparents (check), who have no children of their own (check). Disinterested mother (I don't see Marie Louise being any more interested TTL than OTL), seen as an unwanted reminder by some/many at court (check), trotted out on occasion when it suits them (check), likely given a comprehensive education for no other reason than to not do so would cause tongues to wag (check), treated as a marsouin* by the family (check), used as a pawn in various familial squabbles (check). The main difference would be kids of his own age (the Orléans' kids, Berri's daughters by Amy Brown) whereas in Vienna, the closest in age to him was Franzi's father. And even Opa Franz put an end to that friendship very quickly because of Frankie picking up bad habits (lying/tall stories, smoking, cheating at cards- apparently everyone at the Viennese court dreaded having to play cards with the emperor's brother/father because he was a notorious cheat and he'd sulk if anyone called him on it- and so on and so forth) from his uncle.

    Hopefully, though, Frankie being in Paris TTL will put an end to the ridiculous rumours that he was Maxi's father. Although I fear, they'll just ascribe paternity to Prince Vasa (who- lesser known fact- they fingered as Franzi's real dad OTL) instead

    *porpoise/dolphin. French nickname for the Infanterie de la Marine, because they were "part of the ship [company] but not part of the crew"
     

    Polish Eagle

    Kellan Sullivan said:
    And even Opa Franz put an end to that friendship very quickly because of Frankie picking up bad habits (lying/tall stories, smoking, cheating at cards- apparently everyone at the Viennese court dreaded having to play cards with the emperor's brother/father because he was a notorious cheat and he'd sulk if anyone called him on it- and so on and so forth) from his uncle.
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    Funnily, that's something that he also had in common with Napoleon the Great himself. When that Emperor played cards, he cheated brazenly--though apparently he just took it as a joke when called out.
     

    Kellan Sullivan

    EasternRomanEmpire said:
    For example in 1830 the French revolted because the king wasn't liberal enough, ITTL instead of putting the Orléan branch of the Bourbons in power they would put the son of Napoleon.
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    The French revolted because of fake news. Not because Charles X wasn't liberal enough. Charles X's actions in July 1830- whatever the result- were all within his rights per the Charte
     
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