Bush-Saddam Duel

[Chengar Qordath]

I stumbled across this old news story the other day, and I could not help wondering about the AH possibilities...

http://archives.cnn.com/2002/WORLD/meast/10/03/iraq.bush.duel/

So, would anyone care to speculate on what would have happened had Bush accepted the challenge? Would the fight be with pistols, swords, or some other weapon? Who would win, and what would happen next? Might dueling even make a comeback and once more be legalised?

 

[NapoleonXIV]

Bush is the challenged and therefore can name weapons. Best for him is fisticuffs or quarterstaves, anything that exploits his advantages in youth and strength. What he doesn't want is pistols or rifles, particularly in a modern soldier sim catch as catch can situation since Saddam has actual soldier experience. Swords are iffy, Saddam would probably have handled them more, yes, but have no real experience, while Bush is still younger and stronger.

Bush should have done what Abe Lincoln did. Accept the duel and then state that the weapons would be cowpies, specifying a location in the middle of the Mississippi River. Or he might have demanded that Saddam be armed with a Smithfield ham in downtown Tel Aviv

 

[MerryPrankster]

I thought Lincoln accepted the challenge, picked out a particular sort of sword that would make use of his long arms, and actually showed up at the Mississippi sandbar.

Fortunately, someone showed up and managed to persuade everyone to back down.

 

[hammo1j]

Bush: Choose your weapons Saddam.

Saddam: Here is your Rubik's cube for Iraq, and this is mine for America.

Bush: Goddam it, you son of a camel, that takes real intellect. What are you planning for the USA if you win.

Saddam: We will invade Mexico, the 19th Province of the USA.

Bush: And let all the Wetbacks in in one go. What about the Jews?

Saddam: As long as they help me with this Rubik's cube they can remain.

Bush: I've got a whole side white; how's it going Prince of Arabia?

Saddam: I have 1/3 complete that is 17 of your states. Why don't we stop now and you can have Basra and I will take California and the Eastern States?

Bush: Come on Condolessa, I thought you were supposed to be intelligent.

Condolezza Rice: Sir, intelligence sources suggest you nuke the cube and use nanotech mini robots to reassemble the cube in correct sequence.

Saddam: Why don't we just go with the light sabres. This f**king cube is doing my head in.

Bush: Who's Darth Vader?

Saddam: He's a jet black guy with a huge helmet.

Bush: Where's Colin Powell when you need him?

 

[Mike Stearns]

Bush: Choose your weapons Saddam.

Saddam: Here is your Rubik's cube for Iraq, and this is mine for America.

Bush: Goddam it, you son of a camel, that takes real intellect. What are you planning for the USA if you win.

Saddam: We will invade Mexico, the 19th Province of the USA.

Bush: And let all the Wetbacks in in one go. What about the Jews?

Saddam: As long as they help me with this Rubik's cube they can remain.

Bush: I've got a whole side white; how's it going Prince of Arabia?

Saddam: I have 1/3 complete that is 17 of your states. Why don't we stop now and you can have Basra and I will take California and the Eastern States?

Bush: Come on Condolessa, I thought you were supposed to be intelligent.

Condolezza Rice: Sir, intelligence sources suggest you nuke the cube and use nanotech mini robots to reassemble the cube in correct sequence.

Saddam: Why don't we just go with the light sabres. This f**king cube is doing my head in.

Bush: Who's Darth Vader?

Saddam: He's a jet black guy with a huge helmet.

Bush: Where's Colin Powell when you need him?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Nice!

 

[luakel]

Bush: Choose your weapons Saddam.

Saddam: Here is your Rubik's cube for Iraq, and this is mine for America.

Bush: Goddam it, you son of a camel, that takes real intellect. What are you planning for the USA if you win.

Saddam: We will invade Mexico, the 19th Province of the USA.

Bush: And let all the Wetbacks in in one go. What about the Jews?

Saddam: As long as they help me with this Rubik's cube they can remain.

Bush: I've got a whole side white; how's it going Prince of Arabia?

Saddam: I have 1/3 complete that is 17 of your states. Why don't we stop now and you can have Basra and I will take California and the Eastern States?

Bush: Come on Condolessa, I thought you were supposed to be intelligent.

Condolezza Rice: Sir, intelligence sources suggest you nuke the cube and use nanotech mini robots to reassemble the cube in correct sequence.

Saddam: Why don't we just go with the light sabres. This f**king cube is doing my head in.

Bush: Who's Darth Vader?

Saddam: He's a jet black guy with a huge helmet.

Bush: Where's Colin Powell when you need him?

That's priceless.

 

[NapoleonXIV]

Bush: Choose your weapons Saddam.

Saddam: Here is your Rubik's cube for Iraq, and this is mine for America.

Bush: Goddam it, you son of a camel, that takes real intellect. What are you planning for the USA if you win.

Saddam: We will invade Mexico, the 19th Province of the USA.

Bush: And let all the Wetbacks in in one go. What about the Jews?

Saddam: As long as they help me with this Rubik's cube they can remain.

Bush: I've got a whole side white; how's it going Prince of Arabia?

Saddam: I have 1/3 complete that is 17 of your states. Why don't we stop now and you can have Basra and I will take California and the Eastern States?

Bush: Come on Condolessa, I thought you were supposed to be intelligent.

Condolezza Rice: Sir, intelligence sources suggest you nuke the cube and use nanotech mini robots to reassemble the cube in correct sequence.

Saddam: Why don't we just go with the light sabres. This f**king cube is doing my head in.

Bush: Who's Darth Vader?

Saddam: He's a jet black guy with a huge helmet.

Bush: Where's Colin Powell when you need him?

I hereby declare this thread closed. Noone can top that

 

[Romulus Augustulus]

I'd say that the mattocks of my youth would do the trick quite nicely.