There used to be an old user-submitted content aggregator website called Suite101. It had an AH section.
en.wikipedia.org
I don't remember the other articles, but this was the funniest one
Good times.
Suite101 - Wikipedia
I don't remember the other articles, but this was the funniest one
Alternative History - Who Put the IV in Alternative History?
Author: Bucky Rea Published on: April 12, 2003
What's in a Name?
When the literary genre is called "alternate" history, Bucky, some people ask me, how come you call this site "Alternative History at Suite 101"? That's a really good question. I'm glad I asked.
It's an accident, really. When I started this column, I didn't know what I was getting into, but I knew I wanted to distinguish myself from some the other historical what-if sites out there in the internet. In some obscure article someplace I remember reading somebody state something to the effect that the discipline of what-iffing historical events should be called alternative, rather than alternate, because the latter term implies that multiple timelines could co-exist while the former makes plain that two separate historical outcomes are by definition mutually exclusive of one another. That is, if the terms are broken down epistemologically "alternate history" endorses the Many-Possible-Worlds Theory employed by Star Trek and other idiots, while "alternative history" only means the This-Is-Just-a-Thought-Experiment- and-Thus-a-Complete-Waste-of-My-Time Theory.
But since you're reading this website, you already know I choose wasting my time over being idiotic. However, in scanning the internet for cool stuff to include in this site, I discovered why it would be better for me to use the idiot term alternate history: the phrase Alternative History has already been taken.
By idiots.
Everything New is Old Again
Alternative History refers to a view of history that seeks an explanation to past event that are alternative to the theories that mainstream (meaning university-based professional) historians agree upon. These non-mainstream explanations can run from (1) suggested revisions for how history went to (2) conspiracy theories to (3) outright loony-tune flights of delusion.
The first category of alternative history would include the works of amateur historians like Gavin Menzies, whose recent book 1421: The Year China Discovered the World argues (as the title implies) that China discovered the New World in 1421. This is obviously a fertile area for what-ifs, such as "What if Chinese Admiral Zheng He actually did make it to the Western Hemisphere and established regular contact—or even permanent colonies—in North America 70 years before Columbus got his wild hair?"
Opinions on Menzies's theory range from uncritical admiration (or this archived review here) to outright ridicule (or this academic stuff here). And any Menzies-based alternate history would have to deal with the fact that China in the 15th Century had absolutely no desire, inclination, or capacity to establish remote colonies on strategically irrelevant continents. In fact Zheng He's 1421 expedition did reach the southeastern African coast and left behind some settlers (whose descendents still dwell there today). But obviously no long term political presence was maintained there.
The old New World is one of the richest veins mined by these revisionists. Arguments range from the theory that there was a vast network of pre-Columbian world commerce centering around the Mayans and Aztecs to suggestions of early colonization of the Americas by Australian aborigines, Welsh outcasts, and Vikings.
Why, Why, That's Crazy Talk!
Conspiracytheories operate on a whole new level of fun, and the number of websites that deal with conspiracies is legion. But historically relevant conspiracies, concerning events predating the CIA's assassination of Princess Di are a bit harder to come by. Some of these hearty, if not healthy, "alternatives" include:
- FDR's Pearl Harbor set up (and here)
- The control of everything by The New World Order, or the Illuminati, or the Masons, or the evilest college fraternity ever, the Order of Skull and Bones.
- The faked Apollo moon landing in 1969 (along with a link to a gratifying story about the time Buzz Aldrin punched out) a conspiracy wanker
- "A no-nonsense down to earth approach to the problem of the existence of the land of Atlantis"
- And, of course, the never dull "Who the heck didn't kill JFK?" esoterica
Aliens Among Us
But it doesn't get any weirder than David Icke's contention that a race of alien lizards has infested the bloodstream of all the world's elite leaders since the dawn of time. Icke believes that almost all history since the 12th Century and probably even long before that. He's got the inside scoop on the Reptilians' agenda, and all you have to do is scroll down the page, take his "little red pill" and you'll start to see the Truth, too.
If red pills aren't your bag, then the historical truth behind the Green Children ( not to be confused with those other Green Children) should provide you with a different sort of enlightenment.
But by now I'm just getting silly (and fed up with reviewing these jackass websites). My main point is that, when I named this web page, I screwed up. It's alternate history. Alternate, leave the "i.v." out, please. If you want to review the best of these alternative history sites, from all three categories, go to the Alternative History Directory. And don't bother me for about two weeks.
Good times.
